Hoping and Praying

Yesterday was a great day for us!! At the beginning of the month, Robbie went to the job fair up at the school, and out of 5 construction companies that had a representative there, only one was actually looking to hire anyone. The guy told Robbie that it would be two weeks until he would start interviews, and we never heard anything from them. So, we gave that up (along with a few others) as a possibility. Then out of the blue yesterday Robbie got a phone call from that company asking him if he would be willing to fly down to Santa Fe, New Mexico for a job interview. The company is actually located in the South, but the job that they are hiring for (3 positions are open) is in Santa Fe. So, I will be handling 3 kids all by myself April 16 & 17 as Robbie will be away on what will hopefully be the job interview that lands him a job. It would be a big relief to Robbie if he gets one of those positions as he is graduating in July and has 3 kids to support. Every other option so far has not worked out, so we are really hoping and praying (and even a little fasting) that he will get this job so we have some steady income after he graduates (and so we can move out of our tiny little apartment that is so very very crowded right now).

On another note, I have been exercising and eating healthier in an attempt to loose weight before Robbie graduates, and I have lost 6 pounds this month!! I know that doesn't seem like a whole lot, but when you've been overweight since giving birth to your 3 year old child, 6 pounds gone for good is a definate plus!! It's even better when you know that your routine is working without affecting the nursing, and you can finally fit into a size smaller pants. Yeah!!

Spring Art

I wish I could take credit for the idea behind this art project that I did with the girls, but I can't. Last year as part of the girls Christmas present we suscribed to a Preschool magazine called Turtle. It comes every other month and is filled with stories, coloring pages/connect the dots, and crafts. The last issue that they got had a neat craft idea that we tried out last week. First, you trace your child's hands. Second, cut them out, dab a bit of glue on the ends of the fingers, apply glitter and let it dry. Third, after drying, you curl the fingers around a pencil so the fingers end up curled out. Fourth, you curl the whole hand into a cone-shape with the curl of the fingers going out and you tape it together. Fifth, you take two green pipe-cleaners (or fuzzy sticks, as our package called them), twist them together, stick them down the middle of the "flower" and tape the stem to the flower. You can also cut out strips of light green paper to make leaves, but I didn't do that. The girls had a lot of fun, especially with the glitter. Gwen's are pink, Grace's are purple, and Georgia's are yellow (and amazingly she cooperated while I traced her hands). This week we are going to try to do the Easter art that I always do with the girls-we paint their feet and use them to make Easter Rabbits. I'll post pictures after we've done it.

This is just a random pic I took of Georgia this morning. Each one of my girls have worn this outfit (given to us by Aunt Traci-thank you!!) and I thought I'd post it. She is definately ready for the 3-6 clothes now, as evidence by the bottom of her legs hanging so far out of the outfit.

Holy Poo and Guilt

So the calendar on my wall is now filled with little markings like #1 BM, #2 BM and #3 BM. I have had to start keeping track of when my kids poo. I was already keeping track of when Georgia went because of her going 4-5 days without going poo (which seems to have passed now...she's been going every day for the past week or two, and sometimes 2-3 times a day). I started with the other two girls because for some reason Gwen went 3 days without pooing, and that worried me a bit, so I started keeping track of her. Then I just figured that if I was going to keep track of Gwen and Georgia then I might as well do it for Grace too. Oh the joys of parenting!!



Lately things have just not been going as well as I would like. Every night I go to bed feeling like a bad mom, and some nights it gets me crying. I never expected that it would be so hard having 3 kids under the age of 4. Gwen doesn't even start Preschool until the fall, so I don't even have that kind of a break during the day. It's me and the girls from about 6 in the morning (when Robbie leaves-if I'm lucky, the girls won't be up yet) until sometime between 5 and 7 at night. Top that with it being winter and the kids getting sick and we are stuck in the house most of the time with no one to talk to but each other. It's been hard...and things feel like they're in such a strong routine that I just get tired of doing the same things day in and day out with no interaction with an adult all day long. So, because of this (and the fact that I think I might have a little postpartum depression) I have been a bit short with the girls at times and kind of unhappy. Add on to that all the guilt of being short with the girls, feeling unhappy when I know I shouldn't, and not having more time to do things with the girls like I used to. I also have felt guilty for not being as good of a mother as I should because Grace screams bloody murder at me when she gets mad or in trouble, and Gwen has a whole slew of things she says to me (I hate you, You're stupid, I don't love you anymore are a few-and where in the world did she pick these things up?). Heck, I feel guilty when I let the house stay a disaster in order for me to do something for myself for an hour.

I told all of this to my friend Kim, and she lent me a book called Toss the Guilt Find the Joy and it's been helping. The past two days though have been really bad ones, and I really needed to vent about everything that was bothering me and how awful I felt, and decided to write in my journal. It's been a while (2 years-how pathetic) since I had written, and boy did it feel good. I had forgotten how good it felt to just sit and write-I love doing it and it's such a release for me. So hopefully that will help on the really bad days. And there are bright points in my days-Grace giving me hugs randomly for no reason, Georgia smiling and cooing at me, and Gwen's funny little thoughts (Disney channel is having a Hero movie marathon on Saturday which consists of Aladdin, Mulan, Tarzan and Hercules. Every time she sees Zeus in the commercial talking to Hercules about what it means to be a hero, Gwen yells out, "It's my Heavenly Father movie!!" Aparently Zeus looks like Heavenly Father.). Hopefully as Georgia grows bigger and becomes a bit more independent things will get easier and I'll be able to do more with the girls and more for myself (and I need that to just feel like a creative, thinking human being instead of a mindless cleaning machine). I just keep telling myself that I am trying my hardest, the Lord knows that, and each day to just continue to work on bettering myself. Tonight will be the first time that I am going to have to put all 3 girls to bed by myself-Robbie is taking a class down in Idaho Falls that goes from 5 (or maybe 6-I can't remember) until 10 tonight. So hopefully things will go pretty well today and the girls will be good for me.

I really do love my kids, and I wouldn't change my life for anything. I would never want to trade my kids for a different life. They are such little miracles and I am so blessed to have been able to have them and for them to have chosen me to be their earthly mother. My greatest fear is something happening to my kids, and I would do anything to keep them from being hurt. They and Robbie are truly the jewels in my life, and they do bring so much happiness and love into our home. I am very grateful for them. I want to thank those of you who have stopped by or offered to help with the girls. I know I haven't taken most of you up on your offer to help, but with me, I always feel like it's intruding on your time with your kids, and I don't want to be a burden on someone else. It really does break up my week when we've had visitors and when we've gone to play group, so thank you to all who have hosted play group or who have stopped by. It has really helped and been such a nice break for me.

Update on Georgia

Just a quick update to let everyone know that Georgia was weighed and measured today, and while I don't know how tall she is thanks to the nurse screwing that up (she said she was an inch and a quarter shorter than she was two weeks ago-I don't think so, unless she's the amazing shrinking baby), her weight I do remember. She is now 11 pounds 4 ounces, which means she's gained about 7 ounces in two weeks. She's getting so big!!

Sisters

What a couple of cuties!! I am so blessed to have such beautiful healthy girls who love each other!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

So thanks to my Irish blood, we got all "greened" up today, and I thought I'd share the pictures. Also thought I'd share a bit about the girls.

Gwen is such a funny little girl. Her imagination is constantly going. She is now pretending to feed people food, meaning that she grabs at air, says she has a cookie for you, and has you eat it. She also sleeps with the same three stuffed animals every night (and tries to sneak even more into her bed-one night she got all 20 or so in bed with her before we went back to check on her) and lately she can't go to sleep at night before she wraps them all up in the baby doll blankets they have in their room. It's really cute.

Grace is talking more and more. We can understand so much more now than we could before. She says "hungee" for hungry, "wan dat" for want that, and so many more. It's great to be able to understand what she's talking about instead of having to guess all the time. We are constantly being asked though if we have twins when Gwen and Grace are together. They are only about 3 inches apart in height and are looking more and more alike as they grow. When I took Georgia in for her checkup both the nurse and the doctor (who has been seeing the girls since Grace was about 8 or 9 months old) thought that they were twins. I love it when she comes up to me, says hi just to check on me, runs off and then does the same thing again in 5 minutes.

Georgia is growing so fast...and her personality is starting to emerge. She is such a calm, easy going little girl but so happy all the time. She is fascinated by everything she sees, and loves to sit up with us and watch things happen all around her. She has this awful habit though of storing up her poo for 2-4 days and then exploding. I can't even count how many blow outs we've had with her, which is something new for us as the other two hardly ever had blow outs. While Rob's mom was here, Georgia exploded so bad that it was in her belly button and up in her armpit on one side. Yesterday she came pretty close to repeating that-it was in her belly button but only half way up her side. She is doing very well though and I love to see her smile.

Rob and I are doing pretty good too. Rob's semester only has about another month left and then he'll only have one semester before he's done. He's already gotten packets of stuff about graduation and we are so thrilled. We are a bit concerned about him finding a job-everything we had counted on or thought about isn't going to work out. Hopefully things pick up before the end of July. I am keeping busy with the girls, cleaning, and crafty projects that usually revolve around the girls (hair bows, blankets, tutus and their scrapbooks). I am also working hard at my goal to loose weight before Rob graduates, and have made a bit of progress so far. Things are going well for all of us and hopefully that will continue-we'll keep you posted!!

2 Months Old!!

Georgia is 2 months old now...it's amazing how fast time flies, and crazy to think that in 2 more months I'll be starting to feed her rice cereal. How fast they grow!! Anyways, she had her well-check on Wednesday and has grown a bit. The doctor said that she looks and sounds great, and that she seems to be right on track developmentally, which is always good to hear. She is now 23 1/2 inches long (up from 21 inches at 2 weeks) and is now 10 pounds 13 ounces (up from 8 pounds at 2 weeks). She is growing so fast, and its amazing that she has gained so much weight because she is sleeping longer at night now. Amazingly (and it's wonderful for me), she now sleeps anywhere from 6-8 hours at night. Course, she chows each time she eats so I guess it doesn't bother her to go longer in between feedings. And she really does chow. I still haven't tried to nurse her again so she's still getting pumped milk in a bottle, and she eats anywhere from 4 1/2 ounces to 6 ounces in one feeding. She is also starting to coo at us and has started smiling...although it takes a bit of work to get her to smile sometimes. She also loves to sit in her bouncer and look at the mirror that hangs over the top of it. I've caught her smiling and cooing at herself an awful lot this week-it's pretty funny to watch her be so fascinated with herself. She is such a sweet loveable baby and I feel very blessed that I got such an easy going and beautiful little spirit. I can't wait to see how much she changes in the next 2 months!!